I am living at an eco village in Costa Rica and for the last week, almost all the visitors and residents have been sitting with Ayahuasca, a plant medicine where everyone dresses in white and sings and prays and purges together in ceremony. My first time sitting with Ayahuasca was potent in that her message for me was something like this,
“People come to me to access dimensions of awareness they otherwise don’t have access to, they use me to commune with spirits and angels and to see the higher realms. You already do this, so my invitation to you is to practice being, and to practice being without the medicine.”
This two day ceremony set me on a path of sobriety that is with me to this day. I actually facilitate plant medicine for a living, it is one of the modalities and pathways I use as a healing tool and yet most of the time, I do not partake. I have chosen to embark on a quest to become the medicine, activating the codes and tools needed without utilizing sacrament to amplify them. Even so, as the sensitive soul that I am, being around all the individuals who have chosen to sit in ceremony while I chose to hold space on the outside has activated a medicine journey within my being and has stirred my own pain to be examined.
I can see and hear angels and do communicate with spirits and other entities on the regular. At this point in my journey, I have facilitated countless exorcisms and spirit integrations as well as performed psychic surgeries with miraculous results. I am able to regularly commune with the energies of Jesus and Mary Magdalene as well as numerous other ascended masters. Astral travel comes easily to me and I can look into someone's body to tell them what is out of resonance in their being. I have a direct channel to the spirit planes and have an abundance of visitations and practice conversing with extraterrestrial beings. I am extremely grateful for my access to these realms and the spiritual gifts that have presented for me in this lifetime. I have built an incredibly unique livelihood for myself as a spiritual and shamanic practitioner.
I have seen and experienced things that most people don’t ordinarily have access to and because of that, I have experienced the depths of extreme loneliness.
Walking through the world with extrasensory perception is an extraordinary blessing and yet, because of my experiences beyond the physical, I have often felt worlds apart from others. I sometimes see to be in a dimension of my very own, hands outstretched for connection without ever fully landing the touch. Occasionally, someone will join me for a ritual or an out of body travel experience and I will feel momentarily met, but these experiences have only happened sporadically and the feeling doesn’t remain.
I am faced with this internal struggle between allowing myself to develop and expand my consciousness to support the evolution of humanity (which is why I reincarnated here) and wanting to be a part of something, to experience beings who are speaking the same language as I am.
In fact, in reading this, some of you will know exactly what I am talking about as you hold wisdom and memories that seemingly set you apart. You may have shared your experiences and have had it land on blank understandings with people who don’t share your awareness. Or you may be in the grouping of people who read this and have absolutely no idea what I am talking about when I refer to akashic records, ka body, chakras, tantra and out of body experiences. I am sure that whatever your experience with the esoteric is and or any other realms of knowledge that you carry, that you also have the experience of feeling alone or apart sometimes.
I have found solace in the inner knowing that to carry this wisdom is to carry a torch for humanity to remember. Magic is innately in us and all around us. There are many of us who reincarnated during this time of great transition to hold a pillar for the transformation of the planet. In these moments of profound loneliness, I drop deep into the depths of my beingness and acknowledge my great courage for being able to walk in this way.
I recognize that spiritual awareness on the planet is rapidly rising.
There are many who are being called to a higher purpose and shedding the layers of the old world. After the last fifteen thousand years of dark ages, we are now embarking on another golden era. That is why we are awakening and why the awakening ones are scattered all around the planet uplifting and shining in the worlds they have chosen to advocate for. We were not meant to fit in, we were born to stand out.
Helpful Tools for Transforming Loneliness:
1. Breathe - taking some time to drop into breathe can heal all things. There are many breath practices that you can choose from.
2. Spend time in nature - when I am feeling lonely a walk on the beach at sunset it my favorite cure. It is difficult to stay in pain surrounded by our earth mothers beauty
3. Ask for support - just because you feel alone doesn't mean that you actually are. Call a friend, add a spiritual practitioner as a friend on facebook. Book yourself a healing session. Connect
4. Open your heart - I find that loneliness actually comes from a hardened or constricted heart chakra. In this case, I typically meditate for a moment on bringing earth energies up from the ground, spiritual energies down from the sky and let them flow together out the front and back of my heart center (chakra).
5. Connect to your spirit team - for so many years, I felt that my only friends were spirits. Taking some time to connect to beings from the higher realms can help soothe my nervous system. If I need this, I stop breathe, ask for an ascended master to join me and open myself up to the sensation and potential messages of that experience.